Cold Profile › answers
The medium changed, not you. Meeting now starts with a profile rather than a room, which rewards being specific and punishes being vague - the opposite of how most people write when nervous. The things that made your last relationship work still matter, but they come into play later, once a profile and a few messages get you to a first meeting.
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There is no correct waiting period after a long relationship ends, and nobody else can set one for you. A useful test is whether you can talk about your ex briefly and without heat, and whether you want to meet new people rather than replace the person you lost. If a date would mostly be a way to prove something to yourself or to them, it is worth waiting a little longer.
Both are normal and neither means anything about you. People match while bored, disappear without explanation, and run several conversations at once.
If you read every disappearance as a verdict, you will quit in a month. Most people do. Treat the first few weeks as getting your bearings, not as a test you are passing or failing.
Photos from the relationship are usually years old. Interests from the relationship are often the other person's. It is worth writing down what you actually want now rather than defaulting to the last arrangement.
Get a few new photos taken - by a friend, in daylight, doing things you do now. Avoid photos with your ex cropped out, because an arm on your shoulder or half a face at the edge gets noticed and raises questions. For the bio, write what your life looks like this year: 'Learning to cook for one and getting suspiciously good at soup' says more than a list of traits.
You do not need to hide that you were in a long relationship, but it does not belong in the bio or the first few messages. If it comes up on a date, one or two calm sentences are enough, such as 'I was with someone for eight years, it ended last year, and I'm ready to meet people now.' Then move on to something else.
Long stories about the breakup, or comparisons to your ex, tell a date you are still in the middle of it. Save the detail for later, when you know each other well enough for it to mean something.
Long text exchanges build an imagined person that the real one cannot match. A short coffee within the first week of talking is more informative than three weeks of messaging.
Keep first meetings short and in public, with an easy end time. If it goes well you can always meet again, and if it does not, you have spent an hour learning what you want.