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What do you put in a dating bio?

The short answer

Three specifics and one hook. A specific is a detail only you could have written; a hook is a sentence someone can reply to without inventing anything. Forty to eighty words in total.

The test for every line: could someone hold the opposite view? 'I love to laugh' fails - nobody hates laughing - so it tells a reader nothing and uses space that could have.

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The structure

Line one, what you actually do with your time. The real Saturday, not the aspirational one.

Line two, a real opinion. Mild, defensible, faintly funny: the best thing on a menu you will die defending, the film everyone loves that you do not.

Line three, what you are looking for, in plain words. Serious, casual, or working it out. Not a list of requirements.

Line four, the hook. A question, an invitation to disagree, or an unfinished thought. Without it, anyone who likes you still has to invent an opener from nothing.

A worked example

Weak: 'Love travel, food and good vibes. Fluent in sarcasm. Ask me anything.'

Better: 'I plan whole trips around where I can get a decent bowl of noodles. I will argue that the best meal in this city costs nine pounds and comes in a paper box. Looking for something serious, eventually. Tell me I am wrong about the noodles.'

Same person, same interests. The second one is answerable.

Lines to delete

'Fluent in sarcasm.' 'Partner in crime.' 'Work hard, play hard.' 'Living life to the fullest.' 'Not here for hookups.' 'If you're reading this you're probably bored.' Each is on a large share of profiles, so each makes you harder to distinguish.

Also delete the list of what will get someone unmatched. It describes your worst previous experiences before it describes anything good about you.

Length

Under twenty words reads as no effort. Over a hundred and fifty reads as a CV and gets skimmed to nothing. Forty to eighty is the band that gets read properly.

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