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Dating app tips for women when the matches are the wrong ones

The short answer

For most women on mainstream apps the shortage is not matches, it is matches worth answering. That is a filtering problem, and a profile can do a great deal of the filtering for you if it says something specific enough to be opted out of.

A profile that could belong to anyone attracts everyone, and everyone is the problem.

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Say what you are actually after

One plain line stating what you want - a relationship, something casual, no idea yet but not this - lowers match count and raises the share of them that are worth a reply.

That trade is almost always correct. A hundred matches you ignore is worse than eight you answer.

Make the prompts hard to answer lazily

'Two truths and a lie' invites a stranger to perform. A prompt with a real opinion in it - a food take, a genuine dislike, something you will argue about - invites a reply from people who read it and repels people who did not.

That second effect is the one you want. The prompt is a filter, not a party trick.

Your photos are still doing the first job

Match quality does not exempt you from the set. The same rules apply: a clear face in daylight, a full body, something you actually do, no group shot in position one where you are the one people have to identify.

If the lead photo is a group photo, a share of your matches are for someone else in it, and that is a real cause of conversations that go strange early.

Openers, when the inbox is full of nothing

You are under no obligation to carry a conversation that started with 'hey'. Ignoring those is not rudeness, it is the correct use of a limited amount of attention.

For the ones worth answering, replying with a detail rather than a pleasantry is what converts a match into a plan.

If the matches dried up entirely

That is usually algorithmic rather than personal - a long inactive spell, a mass of left swipes, or a recent profile edit the app is still re-testing. Give a change four days before reading it.