Cold Profile › answers

What should I say on Tinder to get a reply?

The short answer

Two sentences: one specific thing from their profile, one thing about you. That is it. 'Hey' fails because it asks them to do all the work of starting a conversation with a stranger.

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The opener

The specific reference proves you looked. The detail about yourself gives them something to grab, so they are not being interviewed.

Length beyond that works against you - a paragraph to someone you have never spoken to reads as intensity, not effort.

What to say after they reply

Keep offering as well as asking. A message that is only a question puts the work back on them every time, and two or three of those in a row is where threads die.

Follow what they seemed interested in rather than working through your own list.

What gets you unmatched

Compliments about their appearance - extremely common, indistinguishable from everyone else's, and often unwelcome. Anything sexual in the first exchange. Negging. Copy-paste openers, which are obvious because the reference never quite fits.

Then move it

Suggest something small once there is real back-and-forth, usually day two or three. Tinder threads cool fast, and the most common reason a good one produces nothing is that nobody ever asked.

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