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Adjusting exposure and cropping is fine. Anything that changes your face is not, because the first meeting is where it gets discovered and that is an expensive place to find out. The line is simple: edit the photo, not yourself.
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Brightening an underexposed photo, straightening it, and cropping so you are the clear subject. Most phone photos improve substantially from exposure alone.
Correcting white balance when indoor light has turned everything orange also helps, as does cropping clutter from the edges. Check the result on a phone at the size it will actually be shown, because that is where people will see it.
Skin smoothing, face-shape tools and heavy filters. They are more recognizable than people think, and the reaction is not 'they look good', it is 'what is being hidden'. Anything that will not match the person who turns up is borrowing against a meeting you have to attend.
Beauty modes are switched on by default in some phone cameras and apps, so check your settings before taking new photos. A face that looks slightly too smooth or too even reads as edited, even to people who could not say why.
The cost also compounds. A match who notices editing in one photo starts doubting the others, including the honest ones.
Removing a one-day blemish or a stray hair is closer to fixing the light than to changing your face. Slimming your jaw, whitening teeth past their natural color, enlarging your eyes or removing a permanent feature are on the other side.
A useful test is what a friend would say on seeing it. 'Nice photo' means you are fine; 'that does not quite look like you' means you have gone too far. If you are unsure about a particular edit, leave it out, because the unedited version is never the one that causes a problem in person.
Black-and-white is often used to rescue a photo with bad color or lighting. It usually reads as a rescue. Fix the light instead and keep the color.
One deliberate black-and-white photo in a set of six can work. Several of them in a row look like something is being covered up.
If you find yourself wanting to edit heavily, the underlying photo is usually the problem. Retake it in open shade or by a window in daylight, at eye level, with someone else holding the camera. That costs an afternoon and fixes what editing can only disguise.
Give a new unedited set about two weeks before judging it. A strong natural photo tends to do more for you than several filtered ones, and it never creates an awkward moment at the first meeting.
If you have already removed the filters and your results have not changed, editing was not what was holding you back. Look instead at the lead photo's light, whether your face is clearly visible, and whether the set shows anything about your life. Those matter far more than any adjustment slider.